Stereotyping quasifriendships
- the logocentric friend: the friend who keeps a light year’s distance from you in person, but is prepared to lay their bare soul before you, in discrete bundles of sms, fb msgs and other social media
- the Samuel Beckett friend: the friend who menaces your emotional ticker by saying nothing and waiting for you to go first.
- the chopping block friend: the friend who can speak menaingful utterances in the form of intense physical labour. Says “I love you” by lending you a trailer.
- the polyester friend: the friends so overlayed with compliments, you wonder if any of them are actually true (in both senses)
- the anomaly friend: the person so entirely individual, you start to become defensive, insecure and undeniably fascinated by the implications that this person’s existence entails for your circle of friends and for the human race.
- the oblivious friend: the friend who thinks he impresses you by arguing with passion and conviction, oblivious to his conceit, arrogance and the yawning gaps in his logic
- the friend trapped in a time capsule: the friend who presents gifts in secret, reminding you of that one time way back when you were overcome with a sort of sentimentality that was never mutually understood.
- the friend I love: the one that makes few promises. But keeps them all
